Armakhandam – From the Epiglottis

Date: January 3, 2013.

It’s been 13 days since the apocalypse. The world is a wasteland. Among the survivors are the 5 boys :- Hari, Arul, Giri, Mani and Ravi. During that fateful day they had been playing cricket in the nets. Seeing the city come alive in front of their eyes they ran for cover to the store room. Nearly 30 hours later they came out. Earth, apparently, had fallen out of favour with the Gods. The boys instantly developed a fear of falling objects from the sky. In order to protect themselves 4 of them wore helmets taken from the storeroom while Arul decided to guard something more precious knowing the way of the future. They were now walking through the dead city:-

Hari: He had to do it on that day!
Arul: Ya, unfortunately.
Hari: That over-enthusiastic….(sigh)….hey Ram…give me strength!
Giri: Hey, we miss other things also.
(Hari turning quickly): WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING!! THE WORLD NEVER SAW THE KAMAL-RAJINI MULTISTARRER!
Mani: Was the reason truly that?
Hari: (Now getting exasperated) Yes. The movie was supposed to have release one week prior to that on December 14. But Comrade felt that we shouldn’t give into superstitions and that too foreign ones. So he convinced the producers to postpone the release to the next Friday. The rest, as the Mayans wrote quite accurately, is history.
Ravi: OK boys the sun is setting. Time to put on the helmets.

Arul: I have to go….
Mani: The Pepsi bottle is in the bag. Please do use it sparsely. Only 3 more bottles. I am NOT looking forward to Limca. What else was there in the store room?
Ravi: Other than Limca.. let me see… 5 Bovonto and 6 vintage Gold Spot.
Mani. (sniffs) We’ll use Gold Spot in the very end.

(After a few hours of strolling)
Mani: Dai! Is that?
Ravi: It is Prabhu!!
Giri: Why is he wearing that period film costume with a constable’s rifle in his hand?
Arul: Careful da. You guys move forward. I’ll follow.

Prabhu: Neruthu!! Who goes there?
Giri: (gulps)… sir…
Mani: We’re just passing by.
Prabhu: What’s with the helmets?
Ravi: Sir, can we just go?
Prabhu: No, you may not. Anyone who passes this strip of road has to pay tax. Illati Suttuduven Rascals.
Giri: Who has to pay you tax?
Prabhu: You.
Mani: And why should we pay you tax?
Prabhu: This strip of road is MINE. So you’re legally bound to pay tax. Now pay up or die.
Ravi: Sir, what would you do with money now?
Prabhu: I am using the tax to fund the sequel to Veerapaandiya Kattabomman.
The Boys: …….
Mani: Er…what’s this movie about?
Prabhu: It’s about Kattabomman’s bastard who……(SMACK)
(Arul comes from the back)

Ravi: Machi run da. Let’s get the hell out of here.
Giri: LOOK THERE!!! Near that broken Nano. A GIRL!!!!
(They all run towards her. Her name is Eashwari aka Ee.)

Ee: Please dont hurt me. I don’t have any idli left. Prabhu sir took it all as tax.
Arul: No, We’re not here to hurt you. What are you doing here?
Ee: I was just trying to reach Mumbai when I got stuck here.
The Boys:……
Mani: Trying to reach Mumbai? This is Chennai and the world just ended two weeks ago. You didn’t get the tweet?
Arul: Dai iru da.. Why are you trying to reach Mumbai?
Ee: On the night of December 20 I got a phone call from my mother’s younger sister. She informed that the world is ending tomorrow and that some scientists were heading to Mumbai to restart civilization. She told me to be reach there.
Giri: You’re chitti is a scientist?
Ee: Ya, Her name is Kala Kinski. She works in ISRO.
Ravi: Kinski?
Ee: She’s married to a German scientist who works in NASA.
Ravi: OK.
Ee: Can you guys help me?
Arul: Er…. one second…

(After some discussions from which Ee could make out the phrases “Figure”, “guard” and “anni to the rest” )
Arul: OK, we’ll join you. I suggest we reach the National Highways and then…..
Mani: SHIT!! Prabhu sir is getting up. RUN!!!

T

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4 Responses to Armakhandam – From the Epiglottis

  1. Vijay says:

    dei this was a bit mokka.. probably it’s just me but i found it too random

  2. Me says:

    nice stuff.. liked it..

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