So I was walking back from work towards the train station when she approached me. She asked if I could……
She: Just a minute. Is this going to be an unbiased portrayal of that incident?
Me: Er… Are you in my imagination?
She: Yes. Now answer the question.
Me: Listen I have some Idli maavu in the kitchen and some decoction on the filter. Can you make me some Idli and a cup of coffee?
She: You want me to serve you food while you stereotype me and strip me of any personality?
(Disclaimer: Imaginations are not politically correct.)
So she asked if I could spare a moment. I responded positively. She took me to a corner and started discussing about credit cards. She said, “Yes sir so we have this new scheme where if you buy this American Express card within the next 15 minutes we deposit some amount of money into your bank account immediately.”……..”Sir, I’ve finished what I had to say. You can stop nodding and smiling at me.” I informed her that I didn’t use credit cards and owned none too. She became the credit card wiki and started talking about its benefits including how it was useful when dining with one’s girlfriend. I hung my head in shame. She realized the truth. She moved on and asked me to just try one and it would not be harmful. I still had 11 minutes remaining for the scheme to end so I asked for a few minutes to consider. After some contemplation and staring at the girl who happened to be passing by speaking on the iPhone phone, I decided that I would give it a shot. With 8 minutes remaining I returned informing her to sign me up. She said, “That’s great sir, now we’ll just check your eligibility. Can you give me your iPhone? It has an “app” which can calculate credit card eligibilty based on your salary (Calculator)” The heads of people who had the iPhone phones (i.e., the entire train station) began to spin like a globe while I looked on. She exclaimed, “BLACK SHEEP!” I informed her I didn’t possess an iPhone phone. She informed me that it was her break now and that guy over there would handle my case from hereon. Having said this she walked over to that guy wearing a tie and started selling.
I walked away learning some harsh lessons of life that day. What chance does the steupid common man have against the Cruel Capitalist Forces at work? How does he escape this reality?
She: The idli is ready.